Grieving

I received the bad news yesterday..

I was too stunned to even move..

I thought Mama was merely joking..

Comforting myself, I brought myself to sleep..

Last night, I dreamt of 'him'..

'He' sat beside me..

Like always..

As I pat 'him' gently, caressing 'his' head lovingly..

I awoke this morning..feeling like it was real..

Had the urge to call Dad..just felt like it..

Asking how he's doing and everything..Mama just reached KLIA the same morning..

Dad told me about 'him'..

I desperately held back my tears the whole time..swallowing..practically swallowing deep breaths while talking to Dad..

I didn't want him to worry..

Dad tried to soothe me down..I know he meant well....

Try as I may, my tears kept streaming down while I was chatting with Dad..

I tried desperately to control my voice, so it won't hear that obvious I was crying..

It hurts..very badly..I won't try to deny that..

I walked to the very edge of the corridor, so my classmates won't notice I had been crying..

The whole time during class, I kept biting my lips, until it bleeds, to keep me from crying again..

I don't know why, the pain seeps deeply through me..

Like a part of me had just died..

I'd be praying for 'his' safety..

Until then, I would always love you..

Always..

P/S - Please give me some time to grive =___=

Out~