Does Time Really Heals The Pain?

After a few days of intensive training, finally, the play was staged yesterday!!!

Beauty & The Beast =)

It was the best moment ever..

After the play, I was overwhelmed by relief..

I should right?

We started practicing for the final act from 2.30pm till 7pm NON-STOP!!

Talk about craziness for perfection =)

Naaaaahhh...we just wanted it to go out smoothly as we want to =)

But in truth, when the curtain rises, everything went haywire..hahaha..

Forgetting lines..

Too much pauses..

And inaudible speech towards the audience (yes, they were audiences)..

But hey, flaws are intentional..we a re just a bunch of amateurs trying to perform.. =)

The lecturer was proud of our efforts and commented on us..

But sadly, the downfall was (well, rather for me of course) I had a 'slight misunderstanding' with someone in particular..

It was soo bad that 'that person' didn't even want to look at my face..

It's alright, I forgive you..

I never blamed anyone for it..except myself..

I'll try to work it out soon..

Honestly, it's the worst feeling ever..

But, in the end, I had to continuously smile and just don't make others feel sorry or guilty towards me..

It's alright guys..I understand the situation..

I really don't know what to do..I have literally no one to talk to..

I kept everything to myself..And just smile..

Hoping the pain would subside..Hoping..

Hope..

A funny word..

I wonder how much times I've hoped before..

How many times I've hoped and repeatedly been let down..

Im tired...

I'll just wait here in this spot..and not move..

I'll walk again when I feel ready..

That day would come..

I hope..

Out~

Grieving

I received the bad news yesterday..

I was too stunned to even move..

I thought Mama was merely joking..

Comforting myself, I brought myself to sleep..

Last night, I dreamt of 'him'..

'He' sat beside me..

Like always..

As I pat 'him' gently, caressing 'his' head lovingly..

I awoke this morning..feeling like it was real..

Had the urge to call Dad..just felt like it..

Asking how he's doing and everything..Mama just reached KLIA the same morning..

Dad told me about 'him'..

I desperately held back my tears the whole time..swallowing..practically swallowing deep breaths while talking to Dad..

I didn't want him to worry..

Dad tried to soothe me down..I know he meant well....

Try as I may, my tears kept streaming down while I was chatting with Dad..

I tried desperately to control my voice, so it won't hear that obvious I was crying..

It hurts..very badly..I won't try to deny that..

I walked to the very edge of the corridor, so my classmates won't notice I had been crying..

The whole time during class, I kept biting my lips, until it bleeds, to keep me from crying again..

I don't know why, the pain seeps deeply through me..

Like a part of me had just died..

I'd be praying for 'his' safety..

Until then, I would always love you..

Always..

P/S - Please give me some time to grive =___=

Out~

Happy Anniversary To Us

Im heading to One Utama today to grab some stuff Ive been meaning to buy..

No..not buying clothes or shoes..

Im partially broke to shop leisurely =D

I wonder when I'll have the chance to wear those Gladiator Wedges (I swear I wasn't in the 'correct' state of mind when I bought these..even Mr Rascal was shocked..me?? buying shoes?? Pffftt) of mine..tee hee =D

Because I'll be driving, I'll just wear my Wedgie Sandals for today =)

Ohhh..by the way..

Happy anniversary Mr Rascal..

Ich Liebe Dich...Sarang Heyo..Love You

May our relationship blossoms for eternal..

P/S - Im praying I won't be THAT broke after coming back from One Utama..hehehehe =D

Out~