Headache

Woke up early this morning to a wet morning..it rained yet again..

Had a slight headache as the night before, I forced myself to absorb more of the Phonology notes T^T

Couldn't get a proper rest, as a result, all these gilberish nightmares came pouring in..

Had a lot on my mind lately..

My close friends always say I tend to worry too much about things I shouldn't..

Scrolled down my playlist..''CLICK CLICK''

''Shattered by Backstreet Boys''

Huh??? My fingers just moved on its own..Owh well, its better then nothing..

My head is still spinning, sipped a gulp or two of water..

Suddenly, everything clicked in  my mind..maybe Im feeling a bit lazy, ok, maybe extra sluggish and lazy because Im going back this weekend..

I miss Mama
I miss Ayah
I miss Ayep
I miss Nenek
and yeahhh..I miss Suden..

Sob..sob..

Would be heading to JB this Thursday..

Hopefully it wouldn't rain that much..

Its nice to have a break with families once in a while..

The last time I saw them was during Raya, which makes it 2, 3 months back I guess..

I often wonder how it felt for the students abroad to not being able to see their partners and families that much..

It must be hard on them at first, I guess, adapting to the situations makes them stronger..

What if I was in their shoes, would I able to not my family that much?

To not miss my partner that much?

Hmm, I wonder..

Ohhh...guess what???

I already know what to talk about for my Public Speaking tomorrow..yeayyy =D

Hopefully, everything would go out as planned...

My mind is too full, to think straight..

If a person asked me their opinion at times like these, I'd surelyy stared back dumbly at them..couldn't function that properly..yes, to that extent...=)

Well, gotta start scrambling for my IEG assignment..which is also DUE by tomorrow..

Everything's due tomorrow..T^T

Well, no point in complaining huh..might as well, shut the heck up and start moving my lazy bum =D

P/S - I can't wait to go back for Raya Haji..classes and notes and Phonology and Intermediate Grammar can wait!!!! Au Revoir =D

Out~

I Need A New Change Of Batteries Please

Awoken to a rainy morning..yet again..

Pulling my body away from the fluffy warmness of my comforter..

A quiet Saturday morning I might add..

Felt I've forgotten some important things..

Oh...

This coming week would surely be a challenging one..

Piles of school works to be done..

And not forgetting, money constraints..

Aiiihhh...the agony..

Nevermind..I'd be home on Thursday..I'd make it somehow..

Budget-eating mode ON =D

At times like these, I'd remeber the good old days when I was still in Penang, where I was left only with RM10 in my wallet..to sustain a week's eating budget..

Sounds ok right? I don't think so..

The downfall was that the only RM10 was for my gas..for Savvy-chan...sigh..

So, for the whole week, I made fried rice for lunch..switching with home made sandwiches in between them which was quite economical I might add..

You see, the main thing I'm trying to point here is, you don't need a million buckaroos to live your daily life..

Its how you live well, and spend the money..that's the main thing..

Nowadays, us tend to think money is everything..Its really saddening to think its everything..

TRUE, money buys you fine food
TRUE, money buys you nice clothes
TRUE, money buys you all the luxurious you could think of

But somehow or rather..

Money CAN'T buy happiness
Money CAN'T buy friendship
Money CAN'T buy true love

Sometimes, I just couldn't understand (I don't know if Im the only one whose naive, or even slow here, correct me if Im wrong) why us people tend to freak out if lets say you are short of money..

Wake up!!! It's not the end of the world or anything..You'll practically live..

Its only the matter how you straighten and plan out your life..

An incident happened to me recently, right in front of my eyes, where, because of money, friendship ties were severed, and end up nastily..

And I was part of it sadly..I didn't know how to react, in the end, I just left it end in an ugly manner..I don't know if it was my fault to begin with, but I felt hurt by the thoughts of because of money, the beautiful friendship was never true to begin with..

To me, you could gain money wherever you go..

But a good education, a lasting relationship, and trust among peers, is earned for a lifetime..NOT bought by money..ask anyone, I bet they'll second my thoughts..I'm no goody-two shoes, but its how I view life..call it from experience if you might say so..

Tried to tell them though..I really did..Just because, I care and loved them..But all I got back was rude comments slapped right at my face...

Maybe to them, I was just a plain dumb, conservative person..too bad..they couldn't see things in my view..

So you see, what Im trying to say here..

Its NOT how much you have that's important, its how WELL you manage your spending to live your life..

Maybe what you have isn't as much as Bill Gates or Donald Trump..

Just be content with what you have..

Have the feeling of gratitude in you, and Im sure, you will see things differently..

Am NOT saying being poor is cool or anything..

Just be content, and grateful..that's all =D

Self indulgence is nice once a while, but too much of it, could spoil you silly, so be wise my friends =)

P/S - This is a good time to tone down all the fatties on my tummy..woo hooo =D

Out~

Postphoned

Just got back from my faculty..

Found out the supposedly Phonolgy test that was supposed to commence at 10.30am was postphoned to Monday..

My God!!!

The agony I was in was unbearable..

Just imagine, studying like mad cows for 3 days straight, absorbing all the terms and transcriptions, and not forgetting the diagrams..then, in the end...CANCELLED T^T

Wow..what a day..

And on next Monday itself, I got a Public Speaking presentation for my LSS class and handing up my IEG Noun Clause assignment..

And to add up the misery..the Phonolgy test, before the Public Speaking presentation..

Nice combo man @__@

Looking at the bright side of it, I guess, I have extra time to study more..

Well, looking at my reflection at mirror just now, I noticed my eyes are beginning to resemble of somewhat of a panda =D

Essential resting and snoring is on the list for today's menu..

Books, can wait..hahahaha =D

Luckily, the sun is up and shining..for now, that is...

Nice weather to be all warm and lazy..

Can't wait to be back home next Thursday..

Miss everyone..especially Suden, my beloved cat..

Until then..

Out~

P/S - Get well soon Suden!!! Don't forget to eat your meds =D

Oh My God!!! We Are Flooding!!!!!

Oh..oh..

Its raining yet again...

Morning, it would be all nice, hot and shining..

Afternoons till nightime would be a mix between either thunderstorms, blizzard or even winds..

Thank God, there aren't hail stones or tornados bashing the campus area =D

Usually the attire at night would be sweaters and track suit pants..

No more skimpy tops or shorts..hahaha =D

Everyone seems to be sluggish and soo lazy to attend noon classes that would be raining..

As Im posting this, its raining cats and dogs outside, with thunder and lightning (and yet, Im still in front of my lappy..aiiihh)

Phonology class that was postphone to 5pm seems soo farfetched to be attended..

Have to!!!!! Im not that good in Phonolgy..Cannot go lazy-lazy...

My eyes are getting heavier..ohh..the condition is so nice to sleep in..

Setting the time at 4pm, so I won't miss class...

Umbrella...check
Sweater...check
Non-slip slippers...check

Yesterday, my house was nearly flooded..the pipes were clogged, so it seems..

Retreating to bed now..until then =D

Out~

Vain Vain

I was awoken rudely by th elightning outside my window..

Deshmit!! T^T

How I hate lightning..scared the living daylights out of me..

Tried to roll back and forth in my comforter to get some sleep..

Which failed miserably..again...

The past three days, Ive been hibernating, study, sleep, and continuation of hibernating..

NOT GOOD PEOPLE!!!! NOT GOOD!!!

Ehh, what's this?? Felt a lil heavier..

Aiyoooo!!! Im getting fat ah???? T^T

Got to pick up a new sport or something...sheeshh..

Its been raining constantly these past 3 days, which is good..considering the fact its quite humid here sometimes..

Class would commence at 10.30am, but Im still in my pyjamas, staring outside my windows..

The rain's still pouring in, and the weather made it look like it's just 7 past something in the morning..

I bet there'd be others that would go missing their classes with this type of weather =D

Mind me, Im just rambling my way through..

OH!! OH!!!

By the way, I FINALLY finished the blardy Dan Brown's The Lost Symbol book, which took me like a month and a half, nearly 2 months to finish it T^T *the longest reading done for a book* 

The storyline???? Damn epic I tell you..

But for the weak hearted and impatient, get the heck away from this one..

It would make you want to throw it to the nearby walls..=D

Its practically a labyrinth, maze whatever you want to call..O___o

The reason for my late-finish???

I had to practically Wiki-ed or Google-d almost everything...

The facts I mean, in the books, are mind boggling..

When I finished the book, I slept for 4 HOURS!!!! To soothe my poor brain that was fried =D

Give it a go if you insist..you have been warned =)

P/S - Felt lame cause Mr Rascal finished it in a day T^T..sob..sob..

Out~

Aiyayayayai

Its a wonderful cool Saturday morning..

Looks like its going to rain pretty soon..

Practically slept the whole day thru yesterday..its a norm when I overnight the day before..let's just say its a way to stabilize my sleeping time =D

In the last post, I mentioned about the problems I have to deal right?

Well, good news was, I mangaed to get thru the situation with some help..Can't say I can handle them all by myself..For that, I am grateful..

Im glad I was surrounded by great people..That cares for my welfare..Its nice to know that once in a while =D

Taken his advice to not make enemies..His words were..

''We are here to make friends..not enemies..Its ok to make more friends..but not enemies..k''

Somehow, when he said those words, I suddenly felt calmer, and I could rationalize my thinking..

Thank you dear..

And not forgetting my supportive housemates, who's been there when I was practically went berserk =3

I guess, all you need in the end was a bit of love and support in your system..

Ohh and as for the 'problems'??

I got the laugh last in the end..How I managed to do so?

Lets just say, a bit of silent treatment and lecturing did the job..

Untill then, got to finish reading The Lost Symbol for now..been ages to finish this good book..  

Out~

Shit Happens

So, here I am again..Posting up after abandoning my blog for quite some time..

Not that I don't have anything to write about..But I guess, I THINK I could handle all the measly stuff on my own..

Been a bit busy these couple of weeks..with reading materials, reviews and constant paper works..Not that Im complaining, cause I really wholeheartedly enjoyed doing them..

These couple of days, Ive been really irritated and annoyed at the same time with a couple of colleagues of mine..It starts as a small speck of problem, getting worse everyday unattended..

Frankly speaking, its taking a toll of me..

From downright everything..

Be it friendship, relationship and so on..

Yes, I am no GOD, I am no SAINT, and Im just human..

What irks me the most in my entire lifespan, is NOT the fact that I am plain dumb when it comes to shopping, or even NOT the fact that I am NOT that smart when it comes to figures...

NO...
Want to give it a guess??? Yes? No?

Well...Scroll on down then..

1. I LOATHE..yes..not HATE people..LOATHE..when people (am using general terms here, so, go figure) when you make all these lame excuses up to my face and thinking Im dumb..

HELLLLOOOOO!!!! Do I look like a blond bloke to you? Im sorry if you think I am...

Moving on..

2. I LOATHE...again, strong words....you think-youre-sooooo-good-of a-people makes empty promises and breaking them in the end...

Ohooo...Is that a fun thing to do I wonder..making promises here and there and thinking I won't remember each and single one of them..Ohhhh youre sooo dead wrong..

I dont mind..let me empasize that, I DON'T FUC**ING MIND if you can't do the things that you think could make me happy..Im contented with what I have...I really don't mind..and when I say I DON'T MIND, I REALLY DON'T!!!!...

Why laaaaaaaaaaaa...you have to make promises to me...

Its painful, everytime, you keep making promises and promises and promises...*sigh*..

Moving on again..

3. It ANNOYS the living daily lights of me when you screech, wail like a banshee and curse all the time!!!..
 Deshmit!!! I'll get deaf before I'm 23...where's your fucking manners la????

Don't your parents educate you well enough????

I DON'T GIVE A HOOT, if you would think Im a skema or so on..

Go blab somewhere else..

Im NOT saying IM TOO GOOD myself..or TOO PERFECT on everything..I admit that..but I try HARD to improve everything everyday..call me a perfectionist if you want to..I don't give a damn..

I can say soo much but yet, I can't do a thing about it..

If I CAN sacrifice my time and everything to prioritize what's FAR important..why can't you???

Is it that so important to abandon your responsibilities??? Grow up..please!!!!

I think Ive said that much, its suffocating, am heading to MMU now...

Out~

Happy Raya Y'all

Just recently came back from MMU Cyberjaya, after squatting there like a 'setinggan' for 6 days (had to wait for my sister to finish her lectures and bla..bla..before flying down to JB)..^-^

Overall, the 'homestay'@'hostel stay' was pretty awesome!!!

Played with fireworks with my MMU peeps in a park nearby and was nearly caught by cops 

=> Duhh!! You CAN'T play FIREWORKS in the LOCAL PARK!!! For god's sake..of all the things in the world we played that there..hahaha..luckily we had our way..and sweet talk our way out..wooot

Ate sorts of food for break-fasting and bloat my way out
=> We ate  buffet in Alamanda, Domino's pizza, stalls, bazaar food., junk food.I swear to god...Im getting fat by just staying there..these guys really know how to hunt  good food..Honest!!

Learning 'the' IT @ Art talk

=> I must admit, I only thought that only Engineering guys, or TESL peeps had their 'it' language...Ohoo..I was soo wrong people..Staying there for almost a week made me realize that they too have 'the' language..Most of the time, when I tend to engage in a conversation with them..I always get laughed off..T__T..not my fault tho..different wavelength I might say..but they're very nice people..learned a thing or two tho =)

Engaging in wacky moments

=> Just imagine, we went to a bazaar in Bangi, to food hunt for our break-fasting..mission accomplished there..Then, decided to go to Dengkil to eat at the infamous Malee Restaurent (the food there is soo 'kick' man)..mission failed..full house..plus, it was Maghrib already (of course it must be full house by then..duhh)..Had to go back to Putrajaya..decided to eat at Mak Tam Restaurent..mission failed..also full house..by this time, we were all pissed off+hungry..Last resort, went back to MMU Cyberjaya, and ate at HB1..mission accomplished..hahahaha..see the long journey we had to endure..just to find a spot..sigh..but it was fun nevertheless..haha..

Making sweet memories

=> Due to Raya fever, the kids hung Raya lights outside their whostel windows to liften up the mood..some of them only could be back to their respective hometown a 2, 3 days before Raya due to hectoc schedule of lectures and loads of assignments..I really feel your pain guys..some of the unfortunate ones, could only be back a day before Raya (which would be today)..balme on sold out tickets, assignments not yet passed up and etc..

Setting up my blogshop

=> Beacuse I was so bored of my mind..I don't have anything better to do than checking my Facebook every 24-7..which spells L.A.M.E....I revamp my old forgotten blog to a blogshop..Within 2 days, the site was revamp and refurbished with a more friendly layout I might add..clean, and simple..I'd post up the link once my sight is up and running..which would hopefully be after Raya =)..Do wish me luck on this..I SOO want to clear out my closet..my mum's been nagging me not stop about all  the nice clothes Im buying, but NOT wearing them..sigh..baaaaad habit T___T..

All in all, I'd like to take this oppurtunity to extend my Raya wishes..

Selamat Hari Raya, Maaf Zahir Batin

Be safe on the roads..

Take quickie breaks in between the travelling..

Have a cup of Nescafe or Milo or Horlicks, whatever to spiff you up.. ^O^

Fwaaahhhh

Am currently setting up an online shop a.k.a blogshop to clear out my closet..

Mama's freaking out cause my wardrobe is JAM-PACKED with sweaters, not-worn tops and etc..etc..

She freaked out real BAD!!!

''Qla!!!! Don't you dare buy another piece of top unless you clear out your wardrobe!!! Ya hear me!!!''

Dang~

Im soo, toast T^T..

Yesh, I have the tendency or habit I might add, buying new, adorable, girlish clothes and NOT wear them..

Yet, I still wore the SAME old, BLACK top/shirt/whatever sweaters I could find..

Not my fault...They are just sooooooooooooo comfy to wear..

Aiihhh...I'll be damned..>_<

If Only You Knew, Would You Care

Its been a while since I post up something here..
I was waaaayyy too busy with presentations, sleeping in between classes and struggling for multiple tests..
As finals is just 3 days around the corner, it didn't make things easier for me..

Just came back recently from JB due to a week of study week..
Yet, I came back to campus earlier..
Decided to have my last minute struggle in campus rather than at my own comfort of home..
*as if I'll be mugging my ass out in front of the ohhh-so-speedy internet connection lappy*

These past few days, had been one roller coaster emotional ride for me..Realizing things and accepting them without the heart to do so..The pain was very very intense..

It really felt like I was stabbed in the ___________<----- FILL IN THE BLANKS AS YOU WISH

Im tired of empty promises
Im tired of faking smiles
Im tired of adapting
Im tired of making people happy
Im tired of being unselfish
Im tired of giving people hopes
Im tired of being fake
Im tired of reaching out the unreachable
Im tired of being strong
Im tired of everyone
Im tired of myself

Some people tend to say Im just stressed out due to my finals..
Tell you what mister, AM NOT..

I tried to be selfish
I tried to learn to decline
I tried to reach out for help
I tried to be what people want me to be
I tried to give my best to everyone
I tried to love everyone I loathe
I tried to smile when tears threaten to fall
I tried to not burden others
I tried to make people smile
I tried to make people felt loved
I tried to love myself

I did..I really did..
As I sat on the grass, crying, reaching out for help..
Nobody saw me..
Not even a glance..
Nobody even heard my plead of helplessness..
I often wonder why..
Maybe, I was just a mere joke to everyone all this while..

Just a piece of pawn on their chess board..
Waiting to be disposed anytime they please..

Nursing my aching heart..
I could only comfort myself..
''Its ok my dear, the pain would go away''
''You are special, don't cry for them''
''You are not alone, you have yourself, you're never alone''

True, some tend to reach out to me..
But sadly, the moment I grab hold to them..
They disappeared..
Leaving me behind..
Holding on to empty promises the made and shattered dreams..

People might think I'm just full of crap..
An emotionally unstable girl..
I don't give a damn anymore..
You could say whatever you'd like..
As long it pleases you..
It's good enough for me..
Be my guest..
I'll just mind my own misery..

I'll hold on until I couldn't move on..
Until then, this is what I am..
A girl which hides behind the tears of a clown..